I'm not sure when or exactly how it happened, but it seems I'm not a spring chicken anymore. My knees creak in protest, as if to say, "We've been telling you that for a long time." Tomorrow is my birthday and I'll be somewhere in the middle of my 40s. Ok, dead in the middle-45. And with that number, all the strange feelings that come with being (gulp) middle aged insist on rolling in like the tide. I have lived long enough to know that I am no longer in my 20s and that I don't care and that's freeing. But the real question for me, how did it happen so fast? One minute, I was an optimistic college graduate with the world at my door and now I'm a realistic soon to be 45 year old who wants to scream at that 20 something-"What in the heck did you think that Sociology degree would do for you?"
I don't feel like I wasted time (aside from the Sociology major thing) and I don't have many regrets, except maybe failing to appreciate each stage. I was so busy trying to figure out the destination, that I'm not sure I fully experienced the journey. Now I am a wife of 16 years with a 14, 12 and 7 year old. Sending my first born off to high school for the first time was weird but sending my second child to junior high has seemed to get to me more. When the oldest blazes new trails, it still seems like a long way from them growing up and moving out but when those younger siblings dance close to the big things, it really makes me feel the end coming. And now my parents have moved closer to us and I am watching them age. It's a strange spot to be in for sure. Now that I'm here, I can understand how people can struggle with midlife crises. But I thank God that He promised to walk me through every stage I'm in. He is Alpha and Omega-beginning and end. I know that means He's with me in between as well. I just wish I knew the Greek word for middle since that's where I live now.
I don't feel like I wasted time (aside from the Sociology major thing) and I don't have many regrets, except maybe failing to appreciate each stage. I was so busy trying to figure out the destination, that I'm not sure I fully experienced the journey. Now I am a wife of 16 years with a 14, 12 and 7 year old. Sending my first born off to high school for the first time was weird but sending my second child to junior high has seemed to get to me more. When the oldest blazes new trails, it still seems like a long way from them growing up and moving out but when those younger siblings dance close to the big things, it really makes me feel the end coming. And now my parents have moved closer to us and I am watching them age. It's a strange spot to be in for sure. Now that I'm here, I can understand how people can struggle with midlife crises. But I thank God that He promised to walk me through every stage I'm in. He is Alpha and Omega-beginning and end. I know that means He's with me in between as well. I just wish I knew the Greek word for middle since that's where I live now.