So, there's this old show that is *gasp* in black and white. It's a bit of creepy show, on purpose. The episodes often end with your eyes being dry from being wide open and the hair on your neck standing up. Not always full blown scary-just weird. It's a show that my middle daughter refuses to watch because, "It just creeps me out Mom!" (So of course, being the good parents that we are, we point it at to her anytime we run across it on the TV menu and mimic the theme song to her. )
Anyway, most of the episodes are things that don't really happen but are just "out there" -kind of like what we run across every day in the world of parenting.
It truly can be "out there" the way we often see moms treat each other. It begins the moment you find out you are expecting. You are SO excited to share your news and soon after you do, some mom (or dad-the boys are guilty too sometimes) can't help but tell you how she found out, told the news, suffered/survived/sailed through 9 months of pregnancy woes/morning sickness/ weight gain/ or lack of said pregnancy changes. Someone always has a better story...And now there's this Pinterest induced pressure to have some amazing gender reveal. (I just told people via my cordless landline. I'm showing my age I know.) Then the next battle involves defending your birth plan. Oh my word. There are fewer stars in the galaxy than opinions about birth plans. Then, the BIG.EVENT happens and for a brief moment, everyone pauses on the front lines to pause and enjoy a moment to admire your Precious. But it's really a sneak attack because they are preparing to tell you about their actual labor and delivery story and how it varied from their original birth plan. This is followed by some of the fiercest battles of all...eating and sleeping. Breast vs. Bottle, co-sleeping vs crib, letting them cry it out vs getting them every time they cry. There's the working mom vs. stay at home mom battle. Then as your kids grow up, there's the home school/private school/ public school debate and how you discipline, sleepover/no sleepovers, cell phones/no cell phones, sports and activities discussion and it goes on and on... and somewhere in the midst of this, I want to sing the old chant that I heard in an old movie that I'm sure was sung at many protests during the 60s. " All we are saaaaying, is give peace a chance." (I may be old enough to remember rotary phones but I wasn't alive in the 60s.)
Did you see the commercial floating around social media lately that completely depicts what I'm saying in this post? If not, check it out here: http://youtu.be/f4NHdYhSQlk. When I saw this, I was like, "Yes. Just yes." When it comes down to it, we are all a bunch of moms and dads who want what is best for our kids. And I don't think any of us who have shared our opinions (and let's be honest, we all have) have ever thought we were engaging in wars and battles. But the whole big process feels like it sometimes. We all want our kids to grow up to be healthy, productive, self sufficient adults that one day can take care of us when we are old. And I will be the first to admit that I've shared my opinions aplenty. As I've gotten older, I've tried to refrain unless I am asked but I've transgressed at times. But there have been plenty of times that "help" was offered, opinions splashed in my face that have left me feeling, well, battle fatigued. And I want to reiterate the message of the commercial-we are in this boat together. And we may not all do the same way and we may often think to ourselves (and we should always think it to ourselves multiple times before actually speaking it) "Well, that's not how I'd do it." But that's ok. It's not our place to raise your children. And it's not your place to raise mine.
I'm not saying there isn't some positive from talking about the joys and stressors of parenting with other folks, We can find encouragement from others who have already been through what we are going through and I can't tell you how amazing it has been at various times to talk to another mom who just "gets" me. All I'm saying is we need to cut each other a little slack and give peace a chance. Then maybe, some day in the future, when someone decides to remake the old Twilight Zone show (and you know all the good ones come back around sometime), there will be an episode about Mommy wars. An episode, that those watching it will end the hour with dry eyes from sitting with them in wide amazement because that whole concept it just so "out there".
Anyway, most of the episodes are things that don't really happen but are just "out there" -kind of like what we run across every day in the world of parenting.
It truly can be "out there" the way we often see moms treat each other. It begins the moment you find out you are expecting. You are SO excited to share your news and soon after you do, some mom (or dad-the boys are guilty too sometimes) can't help but tell you how she found out, told the news, suffered/survived/sailed through 9 months of pregnancy woes/morning sickness/ weight gain/ or lack of said pregnancy changes. Someone always has a better story...And now there's this Pinterest induced pressure to have some amazing gender reveal. (I just told people via my cordless landline. I'm showing my age I know.) Then the next battle involves defending your birth plan. Oh my word. There are fewer stars in the galaxy than opinions about birth plans. Then, the BIG.EVENT happens and for a brief moment, everyone pauses on the front lines to pause and enjoy a moment to admire your Precious. But it's really a sneak attack because they are preparing to tell you about their actual labor and delivery story and how it varied from their original birth plan. This is followed by some of the fiercest battles of all...eating and sleeping. Breast vs. Bottle, co-sleeping vs crib, letting them cry it out vs getting them every time they cry. There's the working mom vs. stay at home mom battle. Then as your kids grow up, there's the home school/private school/ public school debate and how you discipline, sleepover/no sleepovers, cell phones/no cell phones, sports and activities discussion and it goes on and on... and somewhere in the midst of this, I want to sing the old chant that I heard in an old movie that I'm sure was sung at many protests during the 60s. " All we are saaaaying, is give peace a chance." (I may be old enough to remember rotary phones but I wasn't alive in the 60s.)
Did you see the commercial floating around social media lately that completely depicts what I'm saying in this post? If not, check it out here: http://youtu.be/f4NHdYhSQlk. When I saw this, I was like, "Yes. Just yes." When it comes down to it, we are all a bunch of moms and dads who want what is best for our kids. And I don't think any of us who have shared our opinions (and let's be honest, we all have) have ever thought we were engaging in wars and battles. But the whole big process feels like it sometimes. We all want our kids to grow up to be healthy, productive, self sufficient adults that one day can take care of us when we are old. And I will be the first to admit that I've shared my opinions aplenty. As I've gotten older, I've tried to refrain unless I am asked but I've transgressed at times. But there have been plenty of times that "help" was offered, opinions splashed in my face that have left me feeling, well, battle fatigued. And I want to reiterate the message of the commercial-we are in this boat together. And we may not all do the same way and we may often think to ourselves (and we should always think it to ourselves multiple times before actually speaking it) "Well, that's not how I'd do it." But that's ok. It's not our place to raise your children. And it's not your place to raise mine.
I'm not saying there isn't some positive from talking about the joys and stressors of parenting with other folks, We can find encouragement from others who have already been through what we are going through and I can't tell you how amazing it has been at various times to talk to another mom who just "gets" me. All I'm saying is we need to cut each other a little slack and give peace a chance. Then maybe, some day in the future, when someone decides to remake the old Twilight Zone show (and you know all the good ones come back around sometime), there will be an episode about Mommy wars. An episode, that those watching it will end the hour with dry eyes from sitting with them in wide amazement because that whole concept it just so "out there".